9 Reasons I Love Taco Bell
82Taco Bell has been a staple of my diet for more years than I would like to admit. I’ve turned away from the Golden Arches and headed straight for the border on many occasions. As a matter of fact, I ate at Taco Bell (or Taco Hell, as I like to call it) for lunch today. As I munched on my standard meal, which is one tostada, one crunchy taco supreme, a bean burrito and a small Pepsi, I began to think how grateful I am that Taco Bell exists. To whoever came up with the concept of serving three food items in 35 different ways, my hat is off to you. Let’s get right to it.
1. It’s relatively inexpensive.
Food in general is just too darned expensive, but Taco Bell remains the leader in cheap food that has a high fullness quotient. You will not get fuller anywhere else for 4 bucks. Unless you cook something at home, but that doesn’t count for the purposes of this post.
2. It’s almost healthy kinda’ sorta’.
Isn’t it? It’s corn, beans, lettuce, tomatoes and a little bit of cheese. And 5 or 6 packs of fire sauce, which have no calories because they’re too small. It’s almost too healthy. I almost miss the bloated feeling/involuntary car nap that McDonalds used to give me. When I’m at Taco Bell I almost feel like I’m taking a stroll through an open-air farmer’s market.
3. You can drown it in hot sauce.
If what you ordered isn’t doing it for you, they have the perfect solution. Hundreds of packets of hot sauce are there for the taking. They’re right by the napkins and straws and the containers are always magically full. They added Fire Sauce a few years back. Doesn’t matter what you’re eating, a couple of packets of Fire Sauce make it dee-lish!
4. It tastes good.
Food is about taste, right? Even if Taco Bell wasn’t off-the-charts healthy, I would be tempted to eat there. I can’t seem to get tired of it. I go to 3 or 4 different Taco Bells so the employees at each one of them won’t think I’m some kind of taco-crazed weirdo.
5. It’s consistent.
With only one exception, (something I’m trying to forget) Taco Bell is totally consistent. Taco Bell tastes the same in Phoenix, Seattle, Florida, California – wherever. It’s really hard to screw up as a food prep person at TB. You just put their 3 ingredients on top of each other and throw it on the tray. Perfect every time.
6. It’s always open.
For some of you who prefer finer dining (snobs), you can’t be sure that your favorite place will be open when you’re hungry. I don’t have that problem. Taco Bell always has the light on for me when I pull up, like they’re actually waiting for me to arrive. Kinda’ like family.
7. It’s always close by.
There’s a Taco Bell on every other street corner in the USA. Just the other day I was exiting a parking lot and could only make a right turn. I wanted to go to Taco Bell, which was up to the left, but I obeyed the rules and went right, thinking I was going to do a U-turn. But lo and behold, there was another Taco Bell that I didn’t even know about up on the right! It doesn’t matter which way you go, you’ll run into one in less than 5 minutes.
8. It’s multi-cultural.
I’m all about exploring exotic, foreign cultures. Where else can you be so quickly transported to another country? My Mexican friends tell me that Taco Bell is not authentic Mexican food, but I know they’re pulling my leg. I think they might want to keep this gringo out of their favorite place to eat so that it won’t be so crowded. You can’t fool me, amigos!
9. They acknowledge 4th Meal as a reality.
Yes, I know you’re not supposed to eat after 7 PM. Whatever. Taco Bell tastes just as awesome at midnight, if not more so, than it does at noon. Want to get your health plan on track? Try this for a week. Denny’s Grand Slam for breakfast. Taco Bell for lunch. McDonald’s, Burger King or Long John Silvers for dinner, and then 4th Meal at Taco Bell to round out your nutritional needs. You might get a little groggy, so I would suggest you slam three or four Red Bulls throughout the day.
If you need some more health tips, let me know.
Maybe I'll run into you south of the border!
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Tony - You're probably well versed in multi-culturalism and fine dining like me. Glad you liked the diet tips. There are more where those came from....
Stan - send this hub to Taco Bell HQ and you might get a free "Eat-Your-Way-to-Oblivion" lifetime pass.
Plus they have a really cool dog in their commercials!
Y'know-- I'm not a big fan of fast food, but TB does seem healthier. An important point you made (about all franchise fast food) is -- you get pretty much what you expect in Moscow, Idaho or Moscow, Russia.
Hotsauce revs up your metabolism, no matter where you are.
Yo querio Taco Bell, now and then.
You wasted your valuable time writing about Taco Bell??? what is the world coming too! OK fine I'll take one taco and one of those new cheese layered meat and bean burritos, Oh and the hot sauce please!!!
By the end of the first paragraph I was chuckling. By the end of #2 I was giggling. By the end of #3 I laughed out loud all the way to the finish line. I think you must be a taco-crazed weirdo. Sincerely,(snob)
This just reminds me that I've never been to a Taco Bell in my life. I've sat through their creepy dog commercials hundreds of times and still have never put a slimy burrito in my mouth. With the inspiration I found in this masterpiece of propaganda, I'm-a-right that wrong. Thanks!
drbj - I'm counting on them findng it on their own. If I had free Taco Bell for life, I would be dead within a year.
Steve - ya, but I guess they axed the dog because he offended some folks. I didn't think it was that big of a deal.
Now, having a cat on a Chinese food commercial - THAT would be offensive.
Rochelle - you're so right. Hot sauce does raise the metabolism, and elevates the mood. My girlfriend and I drink hot sauce straight out of the bottle.
American Romance - you had me there for a minute. You're order will be ready in 45 seconds.
Sheila, er...Snob. I love to make people laugh. You know that. Thanks for the description of your progression of mirth. 'Taco-crazed weirdo' would have been a better handle for me on Hubpages than my real name. o well.
Arthur - for a minute there I thought you were one of the aforementioned snobs, like Sheila. But since your hub score is higher than mine, I have the utmost respect for you, and decided to read your comment to the end before deleting it. Am I glad I did! Welcome aboard Amigo!
I actually have never eaten at a Taco Bell, but now I may give it a try just for the hell of it. I told you you should go into advertising!
Stan I am so sad to say that I am not a big fan of Taco Hell (that cracked me up because I have called it that for years). I really hope this doesn't mean we can no longer be friends....(by the way, I actually like Olive Garden). Either way, I still love your sense of humor, even though your hub score and # of followers has surpassed mine....dammit. I haven't frequented Hell for many years, perhaps I should give it another try!
Hi Stan, I am new to the Hubpages, and wrote a story. I like your story. Very funny! Thanks.
Bpop - For your first voyage, I would suggest a Taco Supreme. Or maybe a Gordita. I hope you find your visit to Taco Hell enjoyable. Let me know how it goes.
SFB - perhaps a trip to T Hell should be on today's agenda. The Gorditas are yummy. As to hub score, I can't figure it out. Mine went from 93 to 97 and back a few days ago. It's some kind of witch doctor magic they're using...
samiaali- Great to have you aboard. I love a good samiaali sandwich, oops, I'm sorry, I thought your name was salami there for a minute. I'll pop over to your hub now.
We saw TB (does their food cause that?) for the first time when in Santa Monica a few years ago but didn't try it. Not sure if they're in Oz, haven't seen any in Sydney anyway. Actually first time I heard of them was on a Will and Grace episode few years ago, very funny ep. So was this hub.
So, you're a pro copywriter now - welcome to my world.
Well Taco bell has arrived in Iceland and I am their profit center, despite the fact I take 645 "pacs" of their sauces every time I visit, I actually have to drive 70 miles to find my beloved taco or an individually wrapped, seven layer burrito, (extra hot sauce) which is the third, hottest thing in Iceland, (after my wife and the thug,: the volcano Eyjafjallajökull.
You quero taco bell! I love Taco Bell. It tastes good.
MPG - thanks as always for stopping by, and for mentioning me in your latest hub. I really appreciate it. Yes, I'm launching into writing full-time. All the pieces are falling together. I found myself in the fortuitous situation of having an instant business audience though some contacts that I have. I'll be blogging for about 10,000 folks, many of which can use my services. I should know within a month or two if I'm going to starve or not. :)
halldor - I've got to hand it to you - your comment was very funny. I can see you driving across Iceland like a madman to get your TB fix. Hilarious!
james - thanks so muh for reading. It's good to know you are pro-TB. I knew I liked you.
Funny but true. Taco Bell is inexpensive and good. I just ate there yesterday.
Healing Touch - I was there too! I was over in the corner. My tostada shell broke and hot beans and cheese ran down my arm. I hope you weren't there the same time I was. It was a little embarrassing.
Thanks for reading!
My kids and I love Taco Bell. The seven layer burrito and the soft taco supreme is what I order almost every time.
I totally dig both the seven layer burrito and the soft taco supreme. Great choices. People who don't frequent Taco Hell don't know what they're missing.
Very good . I have a friend that loves taco bell and well eat there every day if he could. Myself not so much I rather have home made food.
Rose - I'm all about the good homemade food too. Just don't have anyone close by to make me any. My girlfriend is a great cook but lives 1700 miles away. Taco Bell for me for a while anyway.
If you are not careful before you see your girlfriend you are going to turn into a Burrito Supreme loaded with Hot Sauce, lololololo . Taco Bell is a good colon cleanser for many! :D Another great read, I gave it a thumbs up! :)
AEvans - Ahh - colon cleansing - an angle I neglected to mention. That would have been a great #10, er, although it makes more sense at #2.
lolololo #2 you have such a great sense of humor! lolololo :D
AEvans - I figured that would crack you up...or gross you out, but since you started it, I felt like I was safe.
Dude. LOL. You need to get out of my head. This is my life you are telling here. You are speaking to my soul. Fire Sauce is my holy water. This is seriously funny.
Shades - You're now officially forgiven for your love of Coors Light.
You are too kind, thank you. :D
Shades - your comments took my score to 97. Stop by more often.
Hah, I wish I had that kind of power. I'd go visit my own. LOL. Heck, I could start charging people... woah.. talk about a new way to make money online.
Shades - good plan. Send me a small percentage of revenues since I helped spawn the idea.
I would except, as you pointed out, you are hexing my hubscore so I'm going to have charge you for lost revenue. Expect a letter from my accountant in the mail.
Ya, I didn't notice your score until after I made this request. You can keep all the money. Just keep your lawyers and accountants away please.
Shades and Stan : Calm down boys. (see, I have sons your age so I know the lingo.)
Both of you do great work-- some of my favorites. You need to get along.
In fact, a collaboration would be mind blowing. If Stan wants to do Stan-dup, Shades could be his "shadow writer". It could be the next bigcomedy sensation.
(I'll be happy with 10% resididuals for making the suggestion.)
Rochelle - you may really be onto something, but shades may be too bitter. His score is dropping like a rock since I started leaving multiple comments on his hubs today. If he's up for it, count me in. And thanks for bringing a motherly approach to this. We needed it.
Yes , I know. Shades is a good guy not bitter at all. He doesn't drink dark beer. -- I know he is good because he was one of my first fans and commenters. He called me a "genius" once-- or maybe he meant disingenuius...disengenious... or something I can't spell. He is a good speller and I respect that.
What gives? He never called me a genius. But you're right, he is a great speller. He has a great vocab too. But I think he must've gotten into a real hornet's nest in the forums and they're trying to take him out. His hub score is plummeting like the DOW today.
Hah, I called you dreamy once, Stan. That's way better than being a genius. Someone was talking about hubber avatars somewhere, and everyone was naming off all the "chicks" (most of whom are probably guys with super model faces), and someone challenged people to come up with guys. Be happy. I'd rather be dreamy than a genius any day if I got to pick, which I don't. I have to settle for base and uncouth, which is fine. I love those words too. :D
And, Rochelle, it's always been a sort of side-desire to write comedy for someone with the backbone to actually go do it for real, through the ups and downs. I'm not sure that's what you meant, but that's what I thought of. :)
Thanks Shades, for promoting my dreaminess.
I'm seriously going to do the 'comedy thang'. If you want to send me material, go for it. Maybe you should wait until I get beat up a little in order to test the strength of my backbone. It might snap like a twig.
We have a taco bell combined with a KFC here. But I generally steer towards the Taco Bell because I feel it is healthier and cheaper. I love the chicken quesedilla even though I can't spell it correctly. And although I don't really care for whatever that orange-ish sauce is TB puts on it - I really miss it when I'm forced to eat a chicken quesodilla at Taco John's.
J - I have eaten at a Taco John's but I can't remember where. Seems like he would have at least called it Taco Juans, especially since people tend to spend time on the John after eating tacos. And I steer clear of the combo KFC/Taco Bells, only because it reminds me that they're both owned by Pepsico and just want to sell me a Pepsi. The last time I tried KFC, I got sick. Love the original recipe, but it doesn't agree with me anymore.
I'm a solid coca-cola only person and I too try not to think about the Pepsico connection. I concur with original recipe too - I like it but it doesn't seem to like me.
I could go for some Taco Bell now. Great hub. Made me laugh.
Thanks Suzi - I'm so glad you stopped by!
Sorry, but Taco Bell is not Mexican food, here in my home long ago opened a taco bell but closed almost immediately, it is something like our food but not quite.
Here in Monterrey where we have way too typical buy our food, so here was not successful, but I'd like to try for myself
But let me give an example of true Mexican food
http://www.tacoschilo.com/menu_combos.asp
Viva Mexico!!
Arriba los tacos y la carne asada, arriba el pueblo mexicano y su extraordinaria gastronimia!!!
Liliana - what a beautiful name... That website you sent is AWESOME! I want to eat there RIGHT NOW. How do I get there from Seattle?
Love it!! A Taco Bell right down the street -- actually within walking distance -- which would promote #2 and 7 from above. I became a fan when I was pregnant with child #3. Taco Bell served their regular lunch menu (I hate breakfast food) hours before any other fast food drive-thru joint. I could be on an errand for work, and just happened to be driving by . . . I do have a query -- what is the gastronomical connection between Pizza Hut and Taco Bell? The Taco Bell pizza does not qualify as a fusion food (even though it does have olives).
Truckstop - Taco Bell, Pizza Hut and KFC are all owned by Pepsi, which is why you can't buy a Coke at any of those places. KFC almost always makes me sick, Pizza Hut ain't what it used to be, but Taco Hell still rocks my world.....Thanks for reading.
Ah, one of my guilty pleasures...The first taco bell accessible in my hometown as a teen closed at 10 pm, but the drivethru was open later. Going out before 10pm was so not cool in grade 11, so we'd walk through the drivethru, in between cars, and get our fix...good times :)
Just had Taco Bell for lunch! First day of Spring Break, and I am living large - Ha! Love the messages on the packets of "Border Sauce". On the HOT variety - When I grow up I want to be a bottle, I hope you are not wearing white, You bring the appetite and I'll bring the heat, and Do I know you from somewhere. On the FIRE variety - I do all my own stunts, Can I ride shotgun, I have a feeling this is going to go badly for me, and Roadtrip?
FiFi - they let you walk through the drive through? I've tried that and gotten scolded for it.....
Truckstop - I can't tell you how many times I've thought, "I want that guy's job!" - the guy who gets to come up with all the phrases for the hot sauce. Brilliant!
Lol, we haven't tried it recently, but then again we're not buzzin' sixteen year olds in jean shorts and tank tops anymore ;)
FiFi - those were the days..... sigh.
No offense, but I don't think I'll be approaching you for healthy eating tips, Stan. Hasn't anyone told you about the LARD (or its hydrogenated equivalent) in which those refried beans are refried?
I make vegan quesadillas and vegan tacos at home that are out of this world, but I make them from scratch so I know what type of fat (a tiny bit of olive or canola) they contain. These days I can't handle the really HOT hot sauce, so I go for a milder one that still has good flavor (lots of cilantro does it for my taste buds).
But no Taco Bell for me, even after your glowing ad copy for them. (I hope they paid you well, at least in free tacos for a year if nothing else.)
JAYE
You realize they use sawdust as a filler in their meat?
Reason #10 - they use scrap lumber, thereby saving natural resources.
tony0724 2 years ago
Stan nothing says diversity like Taco Bell ! And by the way any diet you recommend that could give me cardiac arrest in three days is OK with me.