Fun Things to Do When You're Unemployed

Unemployed? I've been there. It's the pits.

I never ate so many Twinkies and watched so much The Price is Right in my whole life. Being unemployed gave me some time to work on some music though. Like the song below.

Instead of being depressed, take positive action like I did. I'll help you think of some things you can do while unemployed that will give you a sense of actually doing something worthwhile, even if you're not.

1. Give yourself a pedicure. When you had a job, you never had enough time to properly clip your toenails. Heck, with all the extra free time, you can file and buff them too.

2. Clean the toilet. Cleaning the toilet is actually quite satisfying and fairly simple. You're mainly after that dark ring of who-knows-what at the waterline. Although you might be tempted you use a chisel, don't lose your patience. If cleaning it is not your cup of tea, put a piece of Saran Wrap across the bowl and sit back and watch the fun when your roommate gets home.

3. Wash the cat. Cats, contrary to popular belief, love water. Especially if they're unconscious. I'm not suggesting anything cruel here, but do you want a clean cat, or not?

4. Clean the dustbunnies from behind the fridge. I've found the best way to do this quickly and easily is with a flamethrower. You don't even need to move the fridge.

5. Take up birdwatching. Birds are cool. You'll know you're getting good at it when they start watching you back. This takes time, which you have in abundance.

6. Compare different types of candy bars for nutritional content. This will come in handy with friends later. "Put down that Milky Way! That thing will kill you. Here, have a Snickers." If you're gonna' eat candy bars anyway, you may as well be an authority on the subject.

7. Pick up a musical instrument. After you pick it up, play it if you can. Otherwise, move it to a better spot where you don't trip over it while you're looking for the remote.

8. Learn how to cook. A good place to start is Kraft Mac and Cheese. First, remove it from the box. Do not dump the cheese envelope into the boiling water. Don't cook it over 7 and a half minutes. If you're out of butter and milk, leave a little extra water in the pot when you're draining it so you can mix up the cheese.

9. Squeeze bread into little cubes. Get a slice of common white bread and see how small you can make it. This serves no real purpose is only suggested when hyper-boredom has set in. For extra fun, take it out to the vise in the garage.

10. Set something on fire. Don't want to go to the dump? Now's the best time to set something on fire you've been meaning to haul off. Wait for an overcast day if you live in a community that frowns on such things. Only select items that will burn away completely. Don't try to get rid of an old car this way. If you can't find anything, maybe your neighbor has something. Make sure he's at work.

Hopefully these ideas will get you started on something productive while you're waiting for the phone to ring. Happy job hunting!